Because We Had a Bad Day...

This is Her.. My sister... This pic taken on Beauty Queen Competition Dinner at 1Borneo, Sabah.

At the left, My oldest Sister and At the right is my Nurse Sister. My nurse sister entered the Beauty Queen Competition.

From the left, My Nurse sister, My Oldest Sister and My Mom.

Hahahahaha...

Ok... Dear Diary,

So, what happened to me today...??? Well... Just wanna tell you that this is my first time going out to Cyber Cafe with my sister... Hahahahaha... Well... Today was a bad day for her. She fought with her boyfriend and got some of things messy for today. Everything seems not right for her today... So.... now... I am sitting besides her at the Cyber Cafe for the first time (even actually she can online using her own computer at home)

Anyway.... About me... what happened to me today... Ermmmmmmmmmm... I Died The Whole Day... hahahaha... Oh Gosh!!! Palis2... Hahaha.. I mean... I slept the whole day and successfully drew Map of Africa (my saliva) hahahahaha... I didn't go out today.. Just laying my big skinny ass on the couch.. Eat, Sleep, Eat, Sleep.. So yeah... That's it for today... To all readers and Bloggers... Tomorrow is Larbour day (Here in Malaysia). So Happy Labour Day! Enjoy your Holiday with smile on the face and be happy always!! Here's a Video for you... I know about what's happening worldwide too!! hahaha.. Video of Prince William and Kate Kissing.. *Sweet! Enjoy and Good night!

:-*

I'm Sorry... But I don't want to be just like you...

11:04pm Friday, 21 May, 2010.

So, finally it ended that my blog is “the shoulder” that I lean to at times I feel like crying. I am so burden... Its 2:44a now and I still can't sleep. After what happened at 11:04pm, which is hours ago, I really can't close my eyes and rest down my body. It’s a time I will not forget. A time my heart bleed, a time my brain worried. I trembled down to earth thinking of what have I said and done hours ago. I’m so sorry and I didn’t mean it. In fact, I never meant to do it. Now I don't know to whom should I say and cry my heart out. It seems to be only this blog could understand me. It seems like this blog is the only person I would really say about what I really do feel...
 

I know I need this blog. I feel so miserable. Bad like I’ve never been bad before. Bad like I'm should buried alive.. I'm sorry God. I'm so sorry... I never meant to bring this over the limit. I just crossed the boundary. I'm so sorry. I couldn’t say anything more. I even couldn’t express myself now. I'm just so sorry. I'm been bad, really bad...
 

Now God.. I pray for a heartening from you... I know I don't deserve anything from you... I don't.... I'm a rock-headed and a sick-hearted type of person. I am a bad man. God, if I have the chance, please stop this stream that’s non-stop falling down from my eyes to my cheeks... I can't take it any longer... after years of struggling not to cry finally I cried. Its the second time since 8 years ago. Its the second time... Maybe, I'm just too fragile... I need to be stronger after this. I won't cry again, I promised to myself. But for now God, I know even I cannot stop this stream of tears... It’s too painful... Too painful that I couldn’t hide and hold back my tears. I'm sorry... I'm just sorry...

I won't forget this day like I never forget those other important days of my life... too much happening... It is too much for me to comprehend... I'm sorry.... I'm just so sorry......................It’s 3:05am.. I don't know what should I do now... I'm lost...

Here some videos to brighten up your day...

I'm laughing.. And I can't stop laughing.. OMG, Help me! This videos are just overwhelmingly hilarious! I'm going nuts.. Hahaha..

Here some videos to brighten up your day.

My Bloody April Fool..

 6:00pm, Center Point- My hand-phone rings. I received a call from my mom. I am supposed to get into the cinema hall by now, because the movie Clash of Titans is starting.

"Maybe, I should pick my mom call first, who knows it might be important". So pick I up the phone.

"John, where are you?!! Go down now and meet me at McDonald!" My mom spoke in panic.

The way my mom says it fright me a bit and I'm afraid something bad has happened but I try to stay in calm. Quickly, I leave the cinema hall at Growball and run swiftly to the Center Point basement and meet my mom. We were still standing in the middle of people when she said,

"Give me your phone. My phone is dead!" So I give it to her.

"Atie, your dad involved in a car accident!" My mom say it to my oldest sister on the phone. I am a bit stunt when she said that my dad got a car accident. "But he is fine and not injured. fetch him up now okay?" My mom continued.

My mom say so, because luckily my sister, Atie went to Ranau this morning. After few minutes my sister called back and told us that she found my dad standing near his smashed black Kancil with the brand new Viva at the middle of the road. They also told us that they heading to the nearest police station to report the accident. We feel a bit relief after we listen to what my sister told us. So, we went back home afterward.

My dad say to my mom while they were on the phone just now. "So this is my April Fool Surprise..."

Stupid Answer...

Ok...Let me tell you guys something.. I went to Bank Simpanan National (BSN) at Karamunsing today.. I went there to buy UPU ( I don't know what's the full name for UPU, so do not ask me! Hehehe )..

So, I say to the lady at the counter..

Me: Ehem.. ehem.. I wanna buy UPU form miss..

Lady: Can I have the form in your hands please?

Me: Yeah sure...

Lady: Let me key in your number in the system and check it for you..

Me: Alright..

Lady: It says, "Invalid number".. Oh no.. I can't key in your number.

Me: *Thinking( Wth??? Hey!!! I walked hundreds of miles just to buy my UPU form! You better give it to me before I lay this big smooth right hand over your pink face!!*.... Actually that was what I wanna say.. But what comes out of my mouth was

 Me: Ouw.. ok.. Ermm.. Sorry.. I'll come back next time.. Thank you miss.. ( Hahaahaa.. Oh Gosh! How coward I am! Na.. I'm not coward, I'm just a very kind and nice guy left in this pathetic world.. Everyone knows that! *peace)

So.. anyway after that I left with a broken heart... =( Pretty sad story huh?? I know... I know..Hahaha..

What's is even sad actually happened to me late in the afternoon.. I was at the KFC ( my favorite restaurant! Yay! I like to sit my lazy bum at Bandaran KFC chair.. So yeah.. Hit me up there sometimes people.. *wink.

So, back to our story.. Sorry, my story actually... So, I was surfing the net after I get my tummy fulled.. And while I was still surfing the net, facebooking, tagging, friendstering.... There these two big white men sitting just right next to me! well, Of course I ignored them cause they are not my friends.. Hehehe..But, they are getting annoying and more annoying later on.. They were laughing like the whole world was theirs...  But, their jokes weren't that bad after all.. In fact, it almost horse laugh when I listen to their jokes! Hahahaa.. Extremely funny! Then, my one of my friends call me through the phone.. As I speak English........................ Both of them ( the white men started to stare at me!) Gosh! I can see you both are staring at me!

Then after I finished talking with my friend one of the guy says these to me.

White man 1: Hi there... You speak English very well!

Me: Ouw.. thank you very much... *If you see all my essays, you won't say so..

White man 1: Yeah.. Anyway, we are just staying near here, maybe we can hang out plus we are really bored now.

Me: Yeah...I'll think about it ( with a smile on my pathetic face! ) * WTf????? I'll think about it????? what Am I saying??? Ouw Gawd!!! I'm such a stupid cow! What kind of answer was that???

White man 1: Ouw.. Then it's okay.. Ermm.. we're leaving now.. See you then.. * See me then???????? Ouw Okay.. To be honest.. YOU CANNOT see me again!! This will be our first and last meeting since I we know we will not meet each other again! Aaawww.. They give even stupider answer than me! HA.HA! We're even!

 So, guys.. Please tell me.. Have you ever had this situation before where you answer stupidly?? Or what's the most stupid answer you have ever said to someone you do not know before? Click the comment below and please tell me guys.. Alright.. See you guys in my next stupid essay.. 

Have a nice day (^_^)

Enjoy...

Sunday, 14 March, 2010 – I catch a fever and it sucks a lot. I had this fever maybe because I did not eat at proper time. Anyhow, I am quite happy because I enjoyed my days lately. I started to join all my friends do activities and having new friends like the old time. We watched movies, ate appetizing food and went to KBox (Karaoke). Around 7:00pm in the evening, we went to a restaurant by the vast beautiful sea at Jesselton Point. It was so lovely to be there, drinking soda while ogling the sea. It was calming and tranquil. Sitting right over there makes me to stop thinking concerning all my problems that were bugging me for a while. And of course I took a number of pictures too. =)

I did lots of activities after that, and that what makes me to wake up late and do not take my breakfast. Then, the next day (which was yesterday), I got a fever. Congratulations Cruzzo. =)

My Father's Death Anniversary...

 I woke up early today. I lay awake in the dark and think about the past. I could not find my wristwatch to see what time is it now. Surely, it is still dawn; the cloud is still dark and brown. I know today is my father’s one year of death anniversary. I gazed outside the closed plain and transparent glass windows for a moment, capturing a glimpse at every small creation I could barely see; the butterflies look as if they are flying around merrily, the bees are busy entering the flowers’ petals to collect sweets and honey and the birds are singing joyfully ready to start their day. “The living room would not be a fine spot to be at today.” I think to myself.

                   
                   Sometimes, I reflect to myself that we, human beings will know how to value something only when that something is already gone. I had lost a lot of precious things in my life and I regretted it. It is useless to think of “If only.. If only I could change.. If only I could turn back time.. If only I had shown my appreciation towards him/her.. If only...” because what is gone will forever gone. Moment will only pass once and that’s it. I decided that I would never say that phrase again. I want to learn to appreciate my mom who is still with me now, my two big beautiful sisters, my older and younger brothers and my dearly treasured friends who never ran away from me even I always ran away from them. You could never predict what would come about next, so start appreciating everything while you can.

Memoirs...

Hmmpph... If truth to be told, I missed them so much...
I changed very much... didn’t I?
Farlinah Waty...
A name I could barely never forget...
She was the most gorgeous girl in the school back then... sigh...
She was appealing and pleasant...
Masnih...
Hmmpph..
I missed her smiles a lot...
Just thinking of her smile drives me nuts...
She was just right. A perfect being to giggle with, share things with, and heed jokes together...
I have pooled my heart to them...
She was part of me and I was part of her...
How lofty is she now? I bet she is really tall these days... hehe
Shit... She must be taller than me...
I can’t deem that I'm here.. In a strange place...
A very strange place...
Sigh... All the memories are killing me...
At the same time it’s my medicine...
Without it, I can’t exist...
It’s my poison and my tablets...
When it hits, I often drop tears and craft a smile...
So bizarre... yeah, it is eerie...
Well, only I could comprehend it...
I loved them so much... That’s all I desire to cry...
I smile... You know why, as I know they will smile for me too...

A thought to think...

Now I just realize about something. Maybe, I should take things easy. I got a story to share.

From the very forth of a Once-Upon-A-Time, there is this very friendly guy. He talks to everyone and love to make people (at least) smile. But, some people just don't see things like the way he sees it, because they didn't walk the same journey as he does. And yet, they are very judgmental towards him. His close friends are not to be excluded.

Because it hurts him so bad that people teased him and judged him for the way he is. He changed into somebody else. All the laugh has faded, and there is no body to start a joke already.

There is a time, when your close friend changed into somebody else. He will never attempt people to smile or laugh like he used to do before. Tell him that you have missed his joke a lot before it is too late. because there is a point where your will never get your 'old' friend again.

Destiny...

Life is wonderful, I know it is.. But I also need to realize that it has its own Morning, Noon, Afternoon, Evening, Night and Midnight. I completely aware that things won't change just for me alone, and for u too. I have lot of dreams.. Dreams that people may say impossible. But, you know what, I believe that if you can dream it, you can achieve it. Dreams are not impossible to achieve...

I like being myself, which sometimes makes me to think whether it irritates others. I am fully aware that I am not perfect, but at least I know that I try my best to become better.

Life is sure a journey. A journey to a mysterious future. I still remember a phrase from a Movie I watched once.. Yesterday is a History, Tomorrow is a Mystery and Today is a Gift. That's why it is called Present.

So many people say that we have our life destined and we can't run from our destiny. Wrong! We are the Destiny! You are the Destiny of your own. Destiny does not come and seek us. But, we march forward and seek for our Destiny. World leaves us with many options, God kindly gives us the freedom to choose one option of our own. We choose what we think we want to choose. We choose one road among billions of roads resting down in front of us. So, it's clear that we are the one who wields our future, our destiny. Bad or Good, it is always been our fault because its our decisions.

But, I am confused, why they are still ignorant who blames God for what they attained. Point their fingers to other people, when they are wretched. You must have this one thought inside your mind. 'I am born to be a poor man, and I am sure I didn't choose to be one'. But, I also have this one thought inside my mind, 'How many great men were actually belongs from poor society? And how many poor people were actually used to be great men'. You answer that. They don't choose to be born rich or poor. But, they have chosen to be one in the end.

Starting point is fairly important. But, do you know that ending is more important? I do, that is why I write this.

We forgotten ourselves sometimes in the middle of good people. But never forget, all of us belong to dirt. No one stands taller than others and no one sits

lower than others too.

I might be only being poetical, but you know the truth in my words. God Bless you all.

Mr Cruzzo

Am I Beautiful?

Beauty, charm, hotness, allure or gorgeousness… It is something that is really subjective topic… It has a broad sphere of description but with definite restrictions and boundaries…

I was thinking… If you ask a girl with an ideal face (No pimples and no Plastic surgery ok?) for example, what do you think about the one that you loved?? She might answer, “Because he’s sweet, nice, astounding and he is really precious for me…” Even in point of fact, the guy is not even that “Gorgeous” and “Sweet??!!” (He got a ‘titanic’ NOSE with terrifying FACE!!)

Now, if we seize a glance at Mother Nature. Conceivably, you may say that Crocodile is a dreadful , horrible and dangerous species which was one of the prehistoric Dinosaurs that still breathe to tell the tale up until now… It is ugly and never been beautiful… But, certain people pronounce that it is beautiful like I heard from the daughter of the great Steve Irwin on Tv… What I’m trying to state is… All and sundry had their own sole beauty inside… Even how unattractive you might be that people teased you all the time… But, yet you are beautiful… The Mr. Right for a girl, might be stunning because of the personality and the crocodile might be beautiful because it’s so exclusive…

So, what is the beauty within you… For me, possibly, the beautiful in me is when I wear nice outfit. The clothing makes me looked great… All my friends are beautiful… I tell to my friend, "You are Gorgeous" and then I smile, because I know that no one in this world is ugly… Not even a single thing… Every creation that God has shaped is pretty for guarantee…

At the moment, I talk nineteen to the dozen about beauty since I came to realize about something around me… Once, I thought that fine appearance was the thing that decides certain things… But, I was so wrong to even think about it… Now,that I knew about it makes me feel great… But well, everybody had own view and consideration… For me, 

'the beauty that lies within is even superior and last evermore than the beauty that shows externally…'

God Bless You all…