Meeting and Separation...

So, this is what life is about... meeting and separation. Sometimes I wonder alone... Does it need to be like this? Do people need to part? Is it true that it’s the nature law that no one could escape? Or is it a rule that men created to run away from the blame. My mum and dad separated. Is that really nature law that did that or is that their decision. I think I know the answer... It’s their choice. People don't need to separate. They make reasons to separate. Incompatibility, no more understanding, jealousy... and some other excuses they could formulate. I hate it when people say, “We are not compatible to each other any longer”, “She changed”, or “I'm jealous that he/she meets that another person”. All those reasons are bullshit! It’s okay to be angry and sad sometimes. But I don't see any good reasons for separation.

I thought when you value someone you would accept his/her weakness. Why did you even marry her if you don't trust her that she would not cheat behind you?!!! Why would you even say “I LOVE YOU” when at the end you pushed her far away from you? I don't want any pity from anyone that reads this blog. Since young, I was hoping and believing that I could make a difference in my future. I would not separate with anyone. Even how far she/he is, I will stay in one piece and always remember him/her. Many don't know about me, but I do remember every single friend I have in my life. Everyone that visited by. I do remember every one of them. And I always consider them as my friends forever. I don't mean to brag, but I know I have a vast appreciation towards individuals around me. It’s only they who didn't know about it. Maybe, cause I don't talk much about it. I prefer to bury it deep down in me that no one could ever know what actually I'm feeling at some specific times. I promised to myself once. If someday I have someone special that walked into my life, I’ll make that precious person to feel special every moment I'm with that person. I’ll always treat that one person the best I could as if I'm treating a princess. Cause I appreciate him/her more that he/she could imagine. I’ve seen separation all around me and I’ve been one of its victims.

Things that happened between mum and dad in some way has taught me of how to be a person... of how to have a heart within a heart. I promised there would be no more separation happens in my life. I guess I couldn’t help it. It just happened. Now, I'm all alone. It’s okay. Nobody’s is perfect, and so to everything in this world. Somehow, all the emotional struggles that I’ve been facing years ago have taught me to accept defeat, sadness, disappointment. I know, I'm strong... the only question that always swirl in my head is... ‘How long can I be strong?’ Deep in me, I'm afraid of the day that this immense strength within me would not work anymore... the day when strength alone is not enough to confront the bitter truth...